I just had yet another lunch meeting (man I miss that sacred hour of relaxation and eating) in my pediatrics rotation. I'm currently in the NICU, where afternoons are light, but the mornings are kind of whirlwind-like. Anyway, I thought I'd take advantage of the light afternoon and write about something that came up during that lunch meeting. We were discussing epiphanies, i.e. powerful realizations that change one's perspective that are also usually abrupt and sudden. They usually occur in the context of a life-changing event, good or bad, afterwhich that person is forever changed and affected. We discussed this in the context of a medical career ("why are you here?" type thing), but moreso about life. My point:
The physician, Dr. Santema (rotation director), posed the situation that happened to a past 3rd year student, who was diagnosed with cancer. She stopped school until her treatment (which was successful) was finished. When she returned to school, she was different. She wasn't so stressed about every test, about every evaluation. She looked at things differently, and tried harder to enjoy life. Dr. Santema then asked us if that had happened, what would change for us? What would we do differently, or how would we thing differently? Are there things we would try to do or experience now that we had confronted a life or death situation? I was the first to respond. I essentially sad the following:
Though that experience would change my appreciation of health, and daily experiences, I wouldn't change my life's course, except perhaps to spend more time with my family. I have lived, and done, the things that I have always wanted to do, in the correct time and season of my life, at least in my opinion. I served the Lord and my brothers and sisters in Colombia. I got a great education at BYU, where I met my sweetheart and wonderful wife. I have two beautiful children whom I adore. I am studying and working to become a great plastic surgeon. I am happy, and living my life the best I can. I am in no way content to stay where I am in regards to progress or seeing the world or raising my children or enjoying every second with my wife, but my life's course, where I am headed, would not change. I would most likely, enjoy it more, soak it up more, appreciate it more, but the direction, the foundation, would not change.
Why not some huge change of interest? Drop out of school and change profession? See the world? To put it simply: I am doing what makes me happy, and completes my existence, by the life I live now, by the life I live today. I am grateful for what I have, and have no regrets for doing what I'm doing, or the direction I'm going in. It is hard, and it is filled with sacrifice, but with the family I have, and the life I hope to give them, along with all the opportunities I hope to offer them, I am filled and joyful. The Lord is truly merciful with all His blessings.
In other words, the discussion of epiphany made me realize I did have an epiphany of sorts, but no the textbook definition type. It differs in that it wasn't a sudden realization or revelation, nor was it brought on by the type of "life changing" experience that provoked the question. No, it was simply a realization that I DO have everything I ever hoped to have, and am in the path and working towards everything I hope to have and want to give to my family, my brothers and sisters on this Earth, and the Lord in His work. It was, in essence, a cumulative, slow-building up kind of epiphany, but an epiphany nonetheless. I could not really ask for anything more than what I have and what I see and hope to be obtainable. I only hope that the happiness I have and hope that my family has and will have, becomes reality. It has been so up until now, and I thank the Lord for that. I pray that it will continue to be so.
Now, I just hope nobody sees me typing and not working during this down time. :)
