One more day...

Tomorrow is going to be the big day. Glenn has to drive to Waco to take his step 2. After he comes home we'll be going to my sister's in Austin and on Saturday we'll be flying to Canada.
I found another way to manipulate my daughter. Before every time that she didn't want to share or be good, I threatened her with the classic, "I'LL THROW AWAY ALL YOUR TOYS..TO THE GARBAGE." After this magic sentence she'd transform herself in the best girl ever. Well that doesn't work anymore, since she heard one of her friends telling his mom, "I WISH YOU WEREN'T MY MOM." Of course after Nicky heard that and seeing the result of that sentence (his mom pleasing him), she tried to do the same to me. But you see I haven't found my patience yet, so when she told me that, she noticed that that kind of argument wasn't going to work on me... "MAMA I WISH I COULD HAVE ANOTHER MOM INSTEAD." When I heard this I was dealing at the same time with Ian and cooking...so I turned my head and answered her "OH REALLY? LIKE THE NEIGHBOR? WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE HER AS A MOM, BECAUSE IF YOU WANT I CAN TAKE YOU THERE RIGHT NOW." She was looking at me so scared and shaking her head and I kept telling her, "DO YOU THINK I'M NOT A GOOD MOM TO YOU, EVEN THOUGH I COOK FOR YOU, I CLEAN THE HOUSE, I GET WORRIED FOR YOU EVERYDAY, I READ YOU STORIES, I MADE YOUR FAVORITE DESSERT, OR MAYBE I SHOULD STOP BUYING YOU TOYS! THAT PROBABLY IS THE PROBLEM! IF I'M NOT A GOOD MOM , IF THAT IS NOT ENOUGH NICKY, YOU CAN GO AHEAD AND FIND YOURSELF ANOTHER MOM." She came to me and hugged me and said that she loved me. She was crying at the time. After that she was the best daughter ever..for the next couple of hours. 3 days ago she has realized that we're going to see her granparents and cousins, etc. She's counting the hours for that time to come. But everytime that she disobeys or she gets into trouble with Ian, another threat comes to my mind: "IF YOU DON'T OBEY WE MIGHT HAVE TO CANCEL THAT TRIP." Magic sentence...it works everytime. I'm going to milk it until we come back from our trip.
I hate being that way, but it seems that that is the only thing that works with her. Anyway, Ian well, he is too little, but he learns from seeing her, which is good. Hopefully I won't have to threaten him, too in the future...Am I doing all this wrong? I don't know. I don't even know if I'm already screwing up their lifes. I hope not, but I just don't know how to have discipline. They know I love them and I take care of them but I just hate spoiled children...and I don't want to have spoiled children, either.

Getting ready for our trip.

We are planning to attend Glenn's family reunion. Nicky is the most excited about it, especially because Mason's grandma came to visit him. She asked me, "When am I going to see my grandma?" So I told her this weekend we were going to spend time with them and also her cousins. She ran upstairs and saw a picture of the last family reunion (right when Glenn and I were enganged). So she asked me about all of them. She got very focused on her cousin Emily. She keeps telling me that she is going to play with all of them, and she kept giving kisses to her Grandma and Grandpa. Ian was looking at her kind of confusedly, especially when he just kisses the pictures if Glenn, Nicky, himself or myself are in it. Since I won't take care of the Jaffers until we come back, I'm planning on doing a major cleaning of the apartment tomorrow. I do this so when we come back everything will be shiny and clean.
On other subject: Glenn is getting ready for his Step 2 exam. I can tell he is very stressed about this exam. He needs to do better than the first time. Otherwise in interviews they might think that he just had some luck on the Step 1 exam. He's been going to study everyday since he got out of school. He leaves at 10:00 and comes back at midnight or 1:00 am. It's crazy and I'm waiting for the time to be done with this. I know it's not that it's going to be easier at work, but at least he won't have to feel the presure of more tests or anything like that. I rember that feeling when you have an important test. Nauseas, insomnia, anguish etc.etc.etc. It was a nightmare...oh gosh I'm so glad I'm not the one who has to take it. Dealing with the kids is hard, but a test were all your future life depends on is way harder; especially if there are more people already depending on you. When I think about all this I feel so bad that there is sometimes I'm very moody with poor Glenn. I mean it's not that he is having a party at school or anything like that. I ask God to help me to be more supportive and comprehensive, but ...I'm still a human and there are sometimes when I'm complaining, that's when I have to call my mother or my best friends in Monterrey, they always hear me and help me to understand him and remember what it was like being in college.
To be totally honest I was very mad at Glenn for having this trip to Canada, not because I didn't want to go, but because we haven't had the time to spend together as a family. I even had to skip lots of activities at church because I need more time for ourselves as a family. Just the four of us, spending a good time together. The kids miss him so much, and they ask me constantly for him. Even Ian points at his pictures and asks me with his beautiful hands sticking out, "Where is Daddy?" Glenn and I think he's very funny and smart for doing that, but at the same time it breaks my heart because he is too little to understand. Nicky at least knows and everytime that we drive close to the hospital she tells me, "Daddy is in the hospital because daddy wants to be a doctor." So she gets it. Anyway I have heard tales about the fourth year. Like it's wonderful, and so family friendly, and it's like having a family again etc.etc.etc. So far they are just tales. But I have the hope that after Glenn's auditions at other hospitals I will see if them come true.
Coming back to Canada subject: I'm happy that we are going, don't get me wrong. I just feel that our family needs more space, especially for the kids. Glenn and I are thinking that perhaps we'll spend just 4 days with all the family and then the rest of the time just driving around Canada and getting to know more places. It could be fun, but we'll see. If everything turns out well who knows maybe we will decide to stay all the vacaction there with the family.
On another subject and coming back to my last phone marketing calls. Well I think I went too far last time. Although it wasn't a telemarketer calling, I was trying to call one of my BF in Monterrey. She just got married. I was trying to scare her a little bit first. And then you know when I laughed she was going to recognize me and said something typical of her, "YOU ARE SO DUMM YOU REALLY SCARED ME!" or something like that. Anyway it was last Saturday when I called her. She is a lawyer and a teacher at the same time. Her husband and her are very busy people so I was expecting the answering machine, but to my surprise I heard a "hello." I started with my joke: "HOW DARE YOU NOT ANSWER ME BEFORE," then she told me..."WELL I WAS A LITTLE BUSY" (me) - " OH, STOP DOING BAD THINGS WITH YOUR HUSBAND IN THE ROOM. YOU ARE NOT A NEWLYWEED ANYMORE! YOU ARE SUCH A NAUGHTY GIRL, THINKING ABOUT THAT" (then of course I wanted to laugh until...) (other person yelling at me). "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS? TELL ME YOUR NAME! WHO DO YOU WANT TO TALK TO?" Of course that scared the crap out of me and with a very shy voice I said, "I'M SORRY, BUT I'M LOOKING FOR YOVANA" (then the Misses told me) "YOU DIALED THE WRONG NUMBER." (me) "I'M SO SORRY. I WAS TRYING TO PLAY A JOKE ON ONE OF MY BF WHO JUST GOT MARRIED. I'M SORRY" (in that very moment I wanted just to hang up the phone until...) (the women on the other line was laughing) "DON'T WORRY! HAHAHA I UNDERSTAND THAT SHE DOESN'T LIVE HERE. HONEY I HOPE YOU CAN TALK TO HER GOD BLESS YOU SWEETHEART". Of course after all that I had to leave a good impression if that was possible. So I said, "Oh please, I'm so sorry. Again, thank you so much for understanding. Likewise and have a wonderful day" (well at least for the rest of the day after the phone call). Then I called Yovana right away, of course forgetting about making a joke I waited until I heard her voice. "SORRY WE MISSED YOUR CALL, PLEASE LIVE YOUR NAME AND NUMBER AND WE WILL GET BACK TO YOU AS SOON AS WE CAN THANKS" And of course that was the right number with the answering machine, just the way that it has been for the last 2 years.
Anyway, my babe just called me and he is coming home early today...well it's almost 11:00p.m. But it's earlier than other times. So I'm going to cut off just like that.
I'm out.

Marketing for fun!

I'm just so tired of receiving phone calls from marketing. I've tried everything but they keep calling. We have tried everything. The problem is not that they call every single day. The problem is that they call in the worst moment. When the kids are napping, or when they are about to go to sleep, or very early in the morning.

Being a Spanish speaker worked. I've told them that I didn't speak English at all thinking of course they will stop calling us. I was totally wrong. Now they started to call me IN SPANISH!

Being crative I already started to speak Claudiaish to them. That way they just don't have anybody with this language. It's funny when I say hello and they start talking about ALL THE THINGS THAT I WON, BUT THEY JUST NEED TO KNOW IF I HAVE CREDIT CARD OR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER, ETC. As soon as they tell me this I start speaking Claudialand languange, which is something between baby gibberish, Spanish, English, and more gibberish. That way they just get very confused and start asking me if there is somebody who speaks English haha. It's funny when they talk to each other to say SHE DOESN'T GET IT! haha.

STUPID SCORPIONS!

No seriously...what is their purpose in life? I might be very ignorant, but I just hate them so much. My son had been stung for an escorpion today. I was so scared. I was downstairs when I heard Ian cry, and Nicky was calling me to tell me that he was crying. That's weird because she normally dosen't want to tell me when he cries since she is normally to blame. Anyway, I ran upstairs and I saw him scratching the back of his head, and I thought, "he probably bumped his head." So I went to hug him and then I saw the scorpion. I killed it with all my strength. Ian stopped crying, but he kept scraching his head. Luckily Glenn decided that he could study today at home so he called the doctor and they told us to take him to the emergency room. So I took Ian with me and Nicky stayed with Glenn. Ian and I didn't come back until 11:00 p.m. He was so tired my poor little baby. The doctor just gave him benadryl. He was actually behaving pretty normally. At the end the doctor told me that most of the scorpions in Texas aren't poisonous, which made me feel relieved. However I told Nicky and Ian if they ever see one of those they have to call me or kill it with a shoe but never ever touch them or play with them because they are very dangerous. Nicky gave another look at the dead body to make sure that she would recognize the bug next time.

Last year we had the same strugule with scorpions. So pet control came every Wednesday. Tomorrow I'll go to ask them to start coming again. I'm so glad that at least pet control will come to help us from now 'till the problem is solved.

Where did my patience go?

I've been taking care of The Jaffers for the last week, and I mean the whole week. By the time that the weekend arrived I was about to hit everybody against the wall to have a little bit of order in my house. Good think I didn't do it. :) But seriously, between them and my kids I was thinking about the bad mom that I am and the ways I should improve. Of course everybody has lost their tempter once in a while, but in my case...well you see it's very clear in my patriarcal blessing that I have pacience as a gift, but it's also ovbious that I CAN'T FIND IT. It's supposed to be easier for me at least that is what I thought until last Sunday. Brother Jaffers was giving a talk about patience and it was one of those times when you just have to pick up all that you can because I was really needing that talk (especially because that day I was also taking care of one of the Jaffers). Anyway, I felt much better after his talk because as I said in my patriarcal blessing it said that patience is one of my gifts. I though that would mean that I just have it. I didn't have to fight for it or anything like that. But man I was wrong...again. I finally know that patience is something that I still need to work on and improve. It will be my challenge. I guess taking care of the Jaffers or my kids or anybody kids, or holding on with my husband's schedule, or living in this place, or waiting for a better time in life, or learning the language, or improving in my calling all this and more requires LOTS OF PATIENCE. Now I know I'm not the best and I still have lots to improve, and I'm still looking for my patience, but at least I know that somewere inside of me it does exist, and it will help me through all my life.
To improve this gift that I have I'll try to be more postive in my daily duties. I'll try to focus on all the blessings that I do have and not on the blessings that I'm waiting for. They will come with time. Now that doesn't mean that I'm going to be perfect, but at least I'm going to do my best to try and improve my patience. Perhaps sometime soon I'll find it.

At the Zoo!

We went to the Zoo last Friday. The kids had a ball. My friend Robyn invited us. So it was very nice going with her and her kids. Even though we had gone to the Zoo (Waco) before, I think this time was even more enjoyble because it was practically empty. Were did the people go? I have no idea, but the kids were so happy to get into the reptiles rooms, or the acuarium etc.

After the zoo Robyn was very nice invited us dinner also. Today I took Mason to the park with Nicky. They dropped him off at 10:30 a.m and I took him home at 5:45p. Nicky misses her old friend J. After we left Mason's house she was asking me to go and visit her friend J., but then she remembered he's not here. It's sad, she is looking for a new best friend. Today at Chick fill-A she was asking a girl if she would be her new BEST FRIEND. Of course by the time that she had to go, she asked me again, "Mom, why isn't Jay here?" Anyway, I thought that would be a closed chapter, since she hadn't mention his name for ages. Glenn and I when we refers about The Hobbs in front of the kids we say just their incials. The H. , or little G (for Grant) or just el Jota (in Spanish J it's pronaounce Jota) anyway, I hope she can get over it when we are in Canada, with her cousins.

Talking about Nicky, I'm so happy for her. She is making a lot of progress with the languanges, which I thought would never happen. It's so nice to hear her talk, well most of the time. She has being asking me for her Christmas presents already. She wants a Car and a Computer. What a girl. I'm already saving some money for that but, I'm debating. We won't know where we are going to live, and a car...well it's to add more space to the truck that we are going to rent. The computer, I guess I could deal with it. There is not day that she doesn't mention this subject. Mom maybe later I can have my car and my computer." At least I know that she sticks to her petitions. I remember when she was asking me for her princess castle. She was the happiest girl on earth. I'm trying to explaing to her about the gift cards. So maybe Santa could bring instead of a car a gift card with enough credit to buy a car at Wal Mart? I know it sounds ridiculous, but it's the only thing that I can think of without struggling with the packing etc.etc.etc.

However it's not that she is not going to get the present. I just don't want to add more to the collection of "WE WON'T TAKE THIS WITH US, TOO MUCH SPACE." I'll see what I'll do.

For Ian I'm already thinking about buying him a table for all his trains and and tracks, but still, ANOTHER TABLE TO PACK? I know we are barely in June and I'm already thinking about Christmas. Well I guess I have too much free time.

Changing subjects, I'm getting very bored with not having a hobbie anymore. I finished the Harry Potter books last month. I loved it. I wouldn't read it again this year, but perhaps next. I'm trying to find a new book to read, but I'm so disconnected. Glenn was about to buy me Twilight, but I'm not sure if I want to read that book. It's just that I'm scared that it's going to be like the Hunchback of Notre Dame that had disastrous endings. I'm the kind that thinks it's worth it if everybody is happy at the end.