Hmmm...

I just don't know how to title this blog. Since Grandma Beth passed away I haven't feel like writing anything, but like a good friend of mine told me DON'T REMEBER HER WITH TEARS, BUT WITH GOOD THOUGHTS! Grandma Beth was buried in Raymon (Canada) next to her beloved husband (Harris Walker). We wish we could have attended her burial, but for ovbvious reasons we couldn't. However, I'm still fighiting the bad feeling that her departure left me. It's a good thing that I have good friends who know how to cheer me up, and of course my great dear husband.

Anyway, on another subject, we are planning to go to the Walkers' family reunion which will take place in Canada. Glenn's grandparents live there. My mother in-law thinks that the reunion should be there, since her parents are too old and kind of sick. I could not agree more with her. I think it is important for my children to know more about their dad's family, (since they already know a lot about were I come from and about my family and friends). It's harder to keep in touch with Glenn's relatives. I love each one of them, but I still feel awkward with most of them. I think I just feel fine around my in-laws. Anyway, I know Nicky is going to enjoy this family reunion a lot.

Anyway, today I went to the park with one of my dearest friends. Our children played and had fun togheter. Although I had to explain to Nicky that holding hands with her friends was fine as well as huging each other, I needed to tell her 'no kisses allowed' unless they come from Daddy, Mommy, or Ian. Last Sunday her teacher of Sunbeams told me that he caught her kissing Jay (her best friend) as well Jay kissing her back. Yes that sounds so cute until you realize that you have to talk about those subjects with your child who is barely 3 years old. You don't want to make a big deal about it, but you don't want to pretend that nothing happened, either. Now she knows the rule too well. If you ask her, "WHO CAN YOU KISS?" she always says, "Just Mommy, Daddy and Ian." Let's see if she does it.

I love that Nicky loves Jay as her best friend, and I know she loves Grant just as much as she loves Jay. Lindsay has become a second mother for her, so I'm not surprised that they are holding hands, and dancing and telling everyone that "they are married." The kissing issue was on the cheek so I don't care very much either, but I don't know when it's the right time to talk about those subjects. Anyway at this point I just pray and sometimes cross my fingers that I'm doing the right thing with her. I just feel most of the time that I don't know what I'm doing.

Anyway Glenn is falling sleep and we still need to read our scriptures and pray . So I guess I'm heading to bed soon too. I'm done with this posting and I still don't know how to title it...anyway let's see If I can think of something later....

To my Grandma!

When I was a child my biggest dream was to have a Grandmother. I remember seeing my friends at school talking about theirs, but I didn't have one since both of mine passed away long before I was born. I remember that I used to see comercials about adopting a Grandma. I always tried to convince my mom to adopt one, but she was too busy with all of us that the last thing that she needed was to take care of another person. So her answer was always, "YOU ALREADY HAD TWO GRANDMAS. IT'S TOO BAD THAT THEY ARE NOT HERE ANYMORE, YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO REMEMBER THEM." Well, it was hard to remember a person who I didn't even know. My older sisters and brothers always talked about my Grandma (my mom's mom) like the best, but I couldn't share their feeling about her, for me it was somebody that was important for them, but not for me. Anyway, I grew up and with that I give up of the idea of having a Grandmother. Then I met Glenn, this wonderful man that I'm just crazy about who in all the aspects has fulfilled my life. He is not just giving me a family but also a great Grandma. I met his Grandma 5 years ago. I remember the day that she met me even though my English was awuful, she tried so hard to understand me. She knew that I was feeling frustrated about the languge, so she would explaine in a simple and funny way all her jokes. She made me laugh so hard! She would be the one who wanted me to sit always next to her so she could spoil me with her attention and her comments. She'd be the one who would give me compliments ALL DAY LONG! Then she told me that she wanted to be my Grandmother, too. I remember the day that she told me she wanted to be my grandmother, Glenn was there with me. Since he knew how important that was for me, he joined Grandma and me in crying. It was very sad that a little bit after that time we had to move to Texas. Two years ago she started to feel bad. Little by little she became very dependent on everybody. All the e-mails that relatives close to her would send us just made me mad at myself because I knew I couldn't do anything to help her, being so far away. To be totally honest, that was one of the reason that we decided to go last Christmas to Utah, so we could see her again. We knew that that was going to probably be the last time that we could see her. It was also a great opportunity for Ian and Nicky to get to know better the best Great Grandma ever.
Yesterday my mother in-law sentd an e-mail saying that Grandma Walker was getting worse. She ask us to pray for her, and even though I was feeling so sick just to think that I wasn't going to be able to see her again, it made me realize, too, that it was probably her time to join her husband, whom she hasn't seen for a long time.
This afternoon while I was checking my e-mails I saw the saddest e-mail I had ever recived. She has passed away. Even though I'm very happy for her, I'm sad too because you know I'm a human and I love her. I've been trying to cheer myself up but I had some things that I wanted to send to her, especially our family picture, but it's too late. And even right now the tears are just flowing out of my eyes. I love her so much and I'm always going to love her. She is indeed the best Grandma I could have ever had. I'm so thankful that I got the chance to meet her, to get to know her. I know she was a great friend, wife, mother, grandma and great grandma indeed. I will miss her so much, she meant so very much to me. She fulfilled that emptiness and desire I had to have a Grandma, and she did it with so much love. She is happy now, and that will help me to be happy, too. I will never forget my Grandma.

Good by Harry Potter chapter.4 Welcome H.P.V5

So, about 7 moths ago I decided that I need it to have a hobbie. I haven't read anything (but the book of mormon) since Law School, by the time that I was done with Law School, my brain was so burnt out with all the books that I had to read. The last thing that I wanted to do was to have to read anything again. Well, then I went to the Engilsh Language Center to learn English and guess what my homework was?? MORE READING! So by the time we moved to College Station I decided that I didn't want to see anymore books. After almost 3 years I just decided that my trauma with books was healed and I decided to start a new hobbie. And since I love Harry Potter so much, well I decided that I was going to start reading all the books. The first three took me about 2 months but the forth wow it took me like 5 months. And yes it is one of the longest books of the series, but also I got a"job" as a sitter, plus the motherood and wifehood haha so well I know that is not really a word, but being a wife of a Medical Studient is not very easy and it requires lots of thinking, you know, "is he tired?, did he have a bad day?, is he having low self-esteem...etc,etc,etc" So combining all this there is not too much time left for my reading. Then I have this blog, which I like, but I can't stop feeling like I need to write more funny things that people can relate to, and I come to those great ideas, but those ideas for some reason disappear when I sit in fromt of the screen. So I end up writing stuff that I actually didn't want to talk about. I reckon that I really need to be more organized with my thoughts.
Glenn now is doing his rotation at night from 11PM to 8:00 am. So he comes home and sleeps until 4 or 5:00p.m. after that we have dinner together, which the kids just love. And then we play togheter and the kids go to sleep while I have my husband for myself from 7:00p.m. to 10:45p.m. until he goes again. Anyway 2 more days, then he'll have another schedule. I have been very busy lately that I haven't had the chance to visit with my friends. Well at least I get to see Lindsay once in a while and I guess it's just because our kids are really good friends, so I drop mine off at her house or she drops hers at mine. I still don't know what I'm going to do when she is gone. I know Nicky is going to miss Jay so much. It would be so great if she and her family would match here. So at least I'd be having them for the year that we still need to be here. Well it is a good thing that I still have Haeley and Katie, and even though I don't know how to spell their names, haha, I really think they are 2 good friends who I can trust in.
I'm just funny with all the frienship thing. I really need to trust the person who's going to be my friend, and my nature is not to trust to anybody, so when I finally trust to somebody it's because something really important happened. I don't even now why I started to say all this, maybe because I'm just trying to take my thoughts out of my mind.
Well my NOVELA is about to start and I need to take the remote control away from my love before anything else happens.